Um, wow. Talk about controlling behavior! No wonder you live in a different state! My mom bought me my "tank" as a gift last year. All of my others are homemade, with varying success.

Some thoughts: If you don't want to make major waves with mom, don't refuse to have contact. Instead, write her a letter and tell her politely that you feel you are old enough to make your own wardrobe decisions. Ask her to please return your kilts to you. Do not mkae it a contest of wills, find some way to say that she has raised you well and you do not believe that your self-esteem or self-expression should be based on a fear of what other people think. Isn't that what she raised you to believe?

A letter is better than a phone call because she can't get you reacting emotionally and then treat you like a baby. She also can't just hold it away from her ear. When my mother in law was causing some troubles, my wife wrote a letter, saying only what had been said in person and on the phone many times before. The letter did the trick that would never work with just voice. And it only costs a stamp.

You might also approach a religious leader and ask if he will write a letter to her stating that as a grown man, it is appropriate for you to make your own wardrobe decisions. If she places a great deal of authority in the hands of the church, have him also point out that she is out of bounds here in trying to treat a grown man like a child. (By the time you have a wife, you are a grown man, so she has no right to act otherwise.) I don't know how hard it will be to find someone to write that letter, but I do know that if I needed one from a Catholic priest, I'd be able to get one in a matter of hours. If she is wanting a letter of this sort, try to make it clear that she has placed herself in the wrong, here.

Barring that, it is almost Christmas. Tell us what your size is and whether you prefer modernistic kilts (like UKs) or kilts that look more like the classic. Someone here might have a "shrunken" kilt he can donate. You can then send her a photo from Christmas celebrations she isn't a part of, in which you are wearing a kilt in spite of her.

-Patrick