Family Kilt Theft

[Mike1]

I think we need to be cognizant there seem to be some underlying issues at work in this situation, so let's try to keep our observations and suggestions above board, OK?

Family members can have problems one day and all can be forgotten the next, so try not to make comments that could eventually be seen as out-of-line.

Thanks!

[Chef]

I think we need to be cognizant there seem to be some underlying issues at work in this situation, so let's try to keep our observations and suggestions above board, OK?

Family members can have problems one day and all can be forgotten the next, so try not to make comments that could eventually be seen as out-of-line.

Thanks!

I think Mike is right on here folks. It is not a good idea for us to give advice that will fuel the fire.

Jordan I don't know you and while I am very sorry that your Mom took off with your kilts; there are obviously issues going on that may have little to do with your kilts. While taking your kilts sounds out of line she obviously thought she was doing it for the right reason. With the holiday season so close I would suggest you call your Mom and just talk to her. She obviously has some concerns. Making ultimatums right now is not going to change her mind and will only lead to more problems later.

Good luck to you.

[auld argonian]

Hope it all works out for the best.

Best

AA

[gilmore]

... Making ultimatums right now is not going to change her mind and will only lead to more problems later.

Good luck to you.

The ultimatum has already been made, and the mother made it. But then I am the kind of person who, when given an ultimatum, ALWAYS calls the person on it.

There is more to this than a kilt or two. If family members are not suportive of one's endeavors, that is one thing, but coercion, or even attempted coercion, is another. This is not an act of love. It is an act of control and abuse. If one gives in now, one will spend the rest of one's life subject to one's mother's and mother-in-law's wishes, demands and whims, no matter how superficial or ill thought-out, and there are few things more superficial than clothing, IMHO.

To me this would be to a relationship-ending event. To show up uninvited and unannounced from half way across the country is worse than rude and ill-mannered. It is worse than disrespectful. That in itself shows a profound lack of boundaries of the kind that is usually associated with deep-seated emotional problems. To then steal clothing in an attempt to control and manipulate is indicative of truly serious problems.

To my mind this is not about religion, unless one is in the worst sort of cult, in which one surrenders one's autonomy to others.

If I were in this situtation, I would if possible move with my family to another part of the country and re-establish a relationship with my mother and mother-in-law in a few years ONLY after both had had enough therapeutic help to be able to be able to participate in a non-destructive relationship.