"A Different Perspective"

[Arlen]

You know, in the last few years I've had a lot of lessons in how men and women, in general, think differently.
My wife is a psychologist/PSR worker and she's had a good bit of training in how to communicate and how people express themselves.
I, however, have not. And, believe me, there is nothing that will make you feel more juvenile and useless than having your partner be educated in how to communicate while you fumble your words and try desperately to explain yourself.
After being together for 3 1/2 years and having known each other for 5 years I am JUST beginning to understand that she thinks in a completely different way from me. To grasp why certain fights happen or why either one of us reacts in a given way.

Of course women are hard for men to understand and vice versa. I mean, the brain chemistry is completely different. Heck, part of a man's brain pretty much dissolves during puberty and women get to keep theirs!
The fact is, though, it doesn't mean that either side is irrational or difficult.

So yes, you hit the nail on the head. Seek to understand. Take a minute and try to shift your viewpoint.
It's never easy, but I'm starting to see that it works.

[TatterDel]

After being together for 3 1/2 years and having known each other for 5 years I am JUST beginning to understand that she thinks in a completely different way from me.
So yes, you hit the nail on the head. Seek to understand. .

Arlen, Congratulation! You have reach a point of maturity in understanding and in your marriage that has taken me 21 years to get to. Yes, I'm sure my beloved has been saying the same thing for the past 21+ years but I just truly listened to it yesterday! "Seek first to understand, before you seek to be understood".

[TatterDel]

Maybe we should make this the motto of our new Venture Crew.

We may have to have caberdancer.com creat our crew banner...
I just saw their site as I was checking out the sponsors. Yes we do really look at them.

When I find the exact quote maybe someone could help us translate it into Gaelic (and learn how to pronounce it).

Of course Latin might be easier.

(how was that for use of smilies?)

[JamieKerr]

You know. I've been looking for a new tattoo to go around a previous one I have. "Seek first to understand" in Gaelic would just be awesome. Somebody absolutely must translate that, or I swear I will pout. I'm not kidding.

[beloitpiper]

You know. I've been looking for a new tattoo to go around a previous one I have. "Seek first to understand" in Gaelic would just be awesome. Somebody absolutely must translate that, or I swear I will pout. I'm not kidding.

Ar dtús lorg tuig.
(Are doos larg tig)

[Pleater]

I'm afraid I have taken an opposite approach - I simply decided that trying to understand people, what they do and why is beyond my intuition, and would take far too long to fathom out - if I could do it, so I don't.

I'd far rather get a surprise now and then than watch the world knowing what people are up to.

It is a philosophy of spontaneity.

I never finish anyone's sentences, and only act to pre empt situations where I sense danger.

It is rather like watching myself looking at myself thinking, sometimes, so it is rather strange, when I think about it.

That is thinking about myself watching me looking at myself thinking.

Not that I do that very often. Most of the time I just watch the world go by.

It's like having a metaphysical lounger for the mind.

[TatterDel]

That is thinking about myself watching me looking at myself thinking.

Not that I do that very often. Most of the time I just watch the world go by.

It's like having a metaphysical lounger for the mind.

It called "Wee Dram". All things in moderation you know...

Just kidding I think we all have our moments or times when we need to 'zone out' or "go deep within ourselves' the trick is balancing those moments with the attentive and active ones. I'm a mother with a Senior (12th grade) and a freshman (9th grade) in high school. I don't get very many deep contemplative times but when I do it's like turning off the mute button, I can hear all of the things that have been running through my thoughts and I'm able to focus on them.
My brain is no longer focused on the everyday, it is allowed to explore, contemplate and dream.

When I was little my sister though I was autistic and my mother thought I hard of hearing because I could tune everything out around me and focus on my own thoughts, a book, a TV... anything to escape the world I was really in which I found boring and uneventful.

Perhaps that is why I seek to fill my life and my surroundings with so much excitement, activities, and people!

[Leyland]

When I was little my sister though I was autistic and my mother thought I hard of hearing because I could tune everything out around me and focus on my own thoughts, a book, a TV... anything to escape the world I was really in which I found boring and uneventful.!

I get totally lost in books and my mother finally learned to take a book from my hands and make eye contact when she would ask me to do a household chore when I was growing up. Otherwise I would nod when she asked me to do something without even realizing I'd agreed. But I'd still generally forget to fold the clothes immediately after the dryer stopped, even though I remembered she'd asked me to do so.

On topic: I try to be precise and logical in a problem-solver kinda way when I communicate opinions or make requests and suggestions. I've finally figured out that my logic can really be different from the other person's (or that they aren't trying for logic)! So then I might sound like a know-it-all or like I'm talking down to someone. Or just plain old bossy but don't mean to be at all! Simply being quiet, listening to someone else and not thinking while they're talking helps my conversation skills a good bit.