Best quips/retorts to Kilt questions...

[Makeitstop]

Some of these are real keepers ("I need to take a leak." Brilliant!)

"Why are you wearing a Kilt?"
Because they don't make three legged pants.
Because the cops tend to frown on public nudity.
Freedom!
Because I got tired of dressing like a woman.
It's to protest [insert controversial issue here]. (For extra credit, turn it into a big speech that gets louder and louder and embarrasses those around you)

[Nick the DSM]

Some of these are real keepers ("I need to take a leak." Brilliant!)

"Why are you wearing a Kilt?"
Because they don't make three legged pants.
Because the cops tend to frown on public nudity.
Freedom!
Because I got tired of dressing like a woman.
It's to protest [insert controversial issue here]. (For extra credit, turn it into a big speech that gets louder and louder and embarrasses those around you)

LMAO!!

[Clockwork John]

Stranger: "What do you wear under your kilt?"

Me (looks down at feet): "Socks and shoes, obviously."
or
Me: "Only my wife knows."
or
Me: "A lady never asks, and a gentleman never tells."
I once had a coworker respond to this one with, "who said I'm a lady?"
the only response I could manage was a bright red face...

[Galb]

Me: "A lady never asks, and a gentleman never tells."
I once had a coworker respond to this one with, "who said I'm a lady?"
the only response I could manage was a bright red face...

You should've replied with "well in that case, give me your hand lassie."

[Clockwork John]

I wasn't actually kilted at the time... I was in pants, and somehow the subject of kilt wearing came up.