My own "Said No!" story....

**sirdaniel1975** · 16th November 08, 07:32 AM

I kept this story to myself and my close friends and family for a while... but have been inspired by my friend Aaron "Celtic Cowboy" Smith to tell my tale at last. Everything that follows is true!

In the the April 2006, my brother proposed to his now wife "Lisa." They set their Wedding for May 2007. In the summer of 2006, I brought up the idea about me wearing a kilt at their wedding. He replied, we might do a Scottish wedding anyway. I suggested a book on Scottish weddings from the Scottish Tartans Museum.

I set to order my first tailored kilt that summer. I ordered a Gunn Box pleat from MAC Newsome. I learned from my brother that they were not going to do a Scottish Wedding, b/c the brides father objected. His last name is McNeil (go figure). My brother said as of then it was OK for me to be in my new Kilt.

In the end of January I move back to Fl, which puts me closer to my brother and college friends. I am also about 2.25 hours from the wedding location. In February I receive an email from brother about the getting tux measurements. It was sent to all involved in the wedding party and family. I was going to be a musician (trumpet) in the wedding. At the end of the email was... Frank (the minister) you do not have to be measured b/c you know what your wearing and Dan (that's me) you're wearing your kilt.

A week later, I receive an emergency phone call from my brother. He says, "Dan.. I'm real sorry, but Lisa's dad has made it clear that you are not allowed to wear the kilt at the wedding nor at the rehearsal dinner. He said he argued on the phone for 2hours with Mr. McNeil. He says, you have to go get measured for a tux at "Whatever the chain store was, I think Sacino's at the time."

I go to the store in the mall and get my measurements. They were training a new girl at the time and she was coached in taking my measurements. At this time. I was scared because I could clearly see that the measurements were off. I decided to not complain because I realized it would prove my point as to how much better a garment a kilt is.

They also had size me for shoes, I told them I would need the widest shoe you have in my size. Their widest shoe in my size (square toed) did not fit. Bu the next size in the square toed did. I'm EEE width if you're curious. The narrow shoes, which the rest of the wedding party was wearing were too tight.

Let's jump in time a few months to the wedding.

I go back to the store to pick up the tuxedo outfit. I try on the outfit, it's too big like I knew it would be and the shoes are not square toed, but I seem to fit in them. The waistcoat is missing some buttons. I asked if they had any buttons because I sew and can attach them myself. They did not and made a call. One of their other stores which was on the way to the wedding rehearsal location had that vest in my size. I said fine. I'll be there at such and such a time tomorrow on the way to the wedding weekend.
I pick up the waistcoat on the way to the wedding rehearsal. I bought a nice new pair of gray slacks and a attractive blue dress shirt to wear at the wedding rehearsal. The rehearsal night was a wonderful evening by the way. Got to catch up with lots of family and friends.

The Wedding Day:

I'm playing the horn, so I'm in performer mode and get up early to get down to the chapel to warm up. I can't do it at the hotel. I get fully dressed to make sure I'm comfortable in my poor quality tux. (it was a polyester thing) I go to the chapel and cannot get in yet.. I'm extra early so I go back to the hotel to wait a little bit and return to the chapel later. When I arrive at the hotel to wait, I realize that I'm limping because of the shoes. I get back to the room and realize that my herculean feat have completely cracked open the shoes... both of the pair. Luckily I have my dress shoes from the night before, they work great and no one noticed I was wearing them until I told my family my strife.

I return to the chapel, warm up the trumpet(s), play the wedding, and everything was fun... except for the poorly made outfit I was wearing.

I look back at this and wish I had the gusto to just wear the kilt on that weekend.

**highlander_Daz** · 16th November 08, 07:47 AM

a marraige where Brides father feels he in a position to dictate what his future son in law can and cannot wear is off to a shakey start my friend, its none of my business of course however many people have a control issue and if you roll over once your setting a pattern for the future.
If hes bothered about what his pals and guests will think about his future son in law wearing the kilt then he has issues with his own self esteem , if people like Dr. Martin Luthor King or Abraham Lincoln had gone through life pandering to other peoples perceptions of how they should act the world would be a very differant place.

**vmac3205** · 16th November 08, 08:00 AM

On the other hand, the bride's father does pay for the wedding.....it's the bride's day. Suck it up, take the high road, and keep peace in the family. You did well Daniel. The bride's father may be a controlling jerk, but at least you didn't cause additional strife, and I'll bet you played wonderfully.

**mbhandy** · 16th November 08, 08:42 AM

You had to rent a Tux and play or because you played did your father in law pay for the rental? You have worn your kilt scene then, I hope. Did he charge the guest for diner?

MrBill

**sirdaniel1975** · 16th November 08, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by mbhandy

You had to rent a Tux and play or because you played did your father in law pay for the rental? You have worn your kilt scene then, I hope. Did he charge the guest for diner?

MrBill

He payed for the rental and I think my father payed for the rehearsal dinner!

**Carolina Kiltman** · 16th November 08, 11:33 AM

I will say that you did the right thing, also. There are times when one must put one's ego, or pride, into a locked drawer to accommodate the greater good. I hope the pair have managed to deal with the control freak(s) in a healthy manner and that the marriage is sound. I salute you for your graciousness.

**NewKilt** · 16th November 08, 12:45 PM

Daniel,

I think you did the right thing. It's the bride and groom's day. Now as far as any other family functions, If you wanted to wear a kilt, I would do so. If your brother's father - in - law objects, make sure he's doing so face to face and put this guy in his place.

My father-in-law is a controlling person. He even went as far as telling his children what he wanted the grandchildren to major in in college. I'm originally from Ohio, but was transferred to Arkansas, then Kansas, then Missouri due to job promotions. He hit me up with changing jobs and moving back to Ohio several years ago, and that's when I let him know just who exactly he was dealing with. That put an end to any further control attempts with me or my family. Our relationship actually became quite good after that.

Darrell

**Derek Conley** · 16th November 08, 07:27 PM

I really can't see why the father-in-law had such blatant issues with a kilt... that's just odd.

**slohairt** · 16th November 08, 08:27 PM

It's always odd when people have issues with the kilt. I read these stories (there are so many of them) and feel sad that others have to deal with this kind of nonsense and glad that I never have!

**sathor** · 16th November 08, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by slohairt

It's always odd when people have issues with the kilt. I read these stories (there are so many of them) and feel sad that others have to deal with this kind of nonsense and glad that I never have!

I take a special pride in the fact that the person with the biggest objections is the one that links the most clearly to Scotland, and the tartan of her ancestor that left Scotland looks rather good. I though my next kilt would be a Black Watch, but that Gordon looks dang good too.