How I shine my shoes

[###KILTEDKIWI###]

Hi Phil,

I don't know whether you are joking or not, so I will post this without comment except to say this is what I use.

Chas, in general, I find that seriousness is a drain on my already lacking intellect, and I consistently gravitate to the humourous, after all, Sarcasm is the lowset form of wit, and I am a king among men when it comes to the lowest common denominator of that subject.

Heat the Kiwi with caution, have seen it explode or "pop"....and catch fire....

Heat the kiwi in the can, I usually just warmed it up with a lighter

As you are from the motherland, I thought you would of found these as humourous as I did...