I think I see what your problem is - you're wearing your guitar too high. If you wore it lower, it would give you the protection that is so lacking at the moment. If the strap doesn't lengthen then a hunched over, scrunched-up stance would be required. You would, of course, have to change your playing style (if you can still play while scrunched-up). But life is all a compromise and we can't have everything.
Or, I suppose, you could wear a sporran, when not on stage.
"...he don't know where the wind comes from, but he sure knows where it's goin'!"
I'm not familiar with UK construction. Do they not have the double apron like a trad kilt? The wind was kicking hard last weekend, all it ever did was either hold down the outer apron, or hold down the inner apron.
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