Subdued, not dead.
I vote for diced or argyle hose. If you are feeling flush, commission some to match that tartan. Black and white would be far superior to solid black, IMHO. Lavender and black would be very tasty. Check out the custom diced hose from the STM.
Please wear a white shirt to the party. I'd shine the shoes I already have.
You could easily wear a jabot, though it might look best with a 5 button vest or some other jacket than the Argyll. I do not know what church you belong to, or what that church's traditions are, but many priests I know are mildly uncomfortable/unfamiliar with a long necktie. If you can't bring yourself to sport the jabot, by all means consider a bow tie, as it is at least horizontal like your dog collar. And this is a black tie event.
Some take the high road and some take the low road. Who's in the gutter? MacLowlife
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