Etiquette lessons?

[Mike_Oettle]

This thread has been so long that I forget who wrote this: “. . . having to constantly swap over knife and fork hands does seem overly cumbersome to me!”

That has been my abiding impression of the American (formal) style of eating.
I certainly was taught to hold my fork in the left hand and the knife in the right, although I can understand if a lefty wants to do it the other way round.
On the other hand, there are folk who would take it as a deep insult, if not an outright challenge, if the knife was in the left hand.
My father used to use a butter knife, but I never saw the logic in placing butter on the edge of the side plate and leaving the plate greasy as a result.
He used to say: “A gentleman is a man who uses a butter knife even when his mother-in-law is present” (he used to love getting in digs at his ma-in-law).
My mother taught me to eat spaghetti with a fork and spoon, and she also used to break the sticks before cooking them. But I reckon that if the Italians eat spaghetti without a spoon, and slurp up the hanging threads, why can’t I?
I was not taught to eat either artichokes or asparagus, but my mother did teach me to eat my lettuce with my fingers. That was whole leaves of lettuce . . . and she said nothing about a French salad with dressing on it.
I will never live down the day that I was invited to sit at my grandmother’s dinner table between my uncle (mother’s brother) and his French wife, who had prepared a French salad.
I was in awe of my French aunt, but when I got to the salad I sat wondering what I should do with it. Then, recalling that lettuce was supposed to be eaten with fingers, I grabbed at the salad, only to hear my aunt say: “You eeet like a peeg!”
The gilt was definitely off the gingerbread after that, and I was not so impressed with my French aunt!
As for chopsticks, I have never learnt to manipulate them the proper way, and use my arthritis (only in my thumbs) as an excuse for not doing so. But my children learnt the art at an early age, and are quite disparaging of their ham-handed father!
My wife doesn’t even bother, though. She eats her Chinese food with a spoon (yes, she did that again this evening!).
Drinking soup out of a large soup spoon has never bothered me, but I baulked at having to tip the plate away from myself, and still do.
You spend so much time tipping the plate that the soup gets cold.
It reminds me of my father’s obsession with toast. He lived for his morning toast (he even had a story about a slice of toast he was about to each in a sangar at Monte Cassino, which landed face down in the dirt because of gunfire!).
He would painstakingly ensure that the toast was properly brown on both sides. Then he would cut the toast, and slit it between the toasted edges (sliding the knife into the slice) to butter it properly. By the time he had finished, the toast was ice cold. I felt that it was only worth eating if it was still hot, and I have not bothered with toast for many years.

Getting back to my uncle with his French wife: years ago when my mother visited them, they hosted what they referred to as a braaivleis (the South African equivalent of a barbecue).
But at a braai you cook the meat yourself, and you eat it with your fingers.
(Okay, the boerewors is often hot, and you can use a fork for that.)
Not at my uncle’s house! The food was prepared by waiters in white coats, who then brought it to the table and served it on dinnerware. The guests ate it with silver knives and forks!
Now that was definitely over the top!
Regards,
Mike

PS: Boerewors is a traditional style of sausage characterised by being made of at least two kinds of meat. Beef, mutton and pork are the traditional meat ingredients, and then spices are added, among which coriander is a must.