My wife scoffs...

[Alan H]

Once upon a time, years and years ago, there was a guy here who wanted to wear a kilt.

He bought a sportkilt. He posted one picture of himself....sportkilt hanging off of him, no socks, dirty worn out running shoes, a baggy hoodie sweatshirt over it all...and the killer, this hangdog expression as if he'd been caught stealing cookies.

He looked like ruddy hell warmed over. It was obvious that she'd not let him buy anything but that sportkilt, and we all know that there are limits to how "just a kilt" can look if you are clueless about how to wear it with anything else, and have none of the usual "kit". Still and all the KILLER thing about that picture was how utterly hammered he looked. He looked ashamed of himself with that kilt on.

He posted several times about how his wife was so adamant about him not wearing a kilt. He posted in a panic one day about how he thought she was going to divorce him over it. And then one day he showed up with a picture of a tartan tie, and how thrilled he was that his wife was going to LET HIM WEAR A TARTAN TIE.

We were all very nice. Very polite. But the whole time I was biting my tongue, because that guy didn't need a kilt.

........................What he needed was a backbone and to grow a set, pardon the term.

Respect your wife. Try to understand her views. Listen to her. After all, you love her and you married her. But do not give away your basic independence and manhood over every single issue to keep her happy. It won't work....not for her, not for you...and if that truly IS the only way to keep her happy, then mate....

.......it's time to find another place to live, because she doesn't love you.

[Nighthawk]

Once upon a time, years and years ago, there was a guy here who wanted to wear a kilt.

He bought a sportkilt. He posted one picture of himself....sportkilt hanging off of him, no socks, dirty worn out running shoes, a baggy hoodie sweatshirt over it all...and the killer, this hangdog expression as if he'd been caught stealing cookies.

He looked like ruddy hell warmed over. It was obvious that she'd not let him buy anything but that sportkilt, and we all know that there are limits to how "just a kilt" can look if you are clueless about how to wear it with anything else, and have none of the usual "kit". Still and all the KILLER thing about that picture was how utterly hammered he looked. He looked ashamed of himself with that kilt on.

He posted several times about how his wife was so adamant about him not wearing a kilt. He posted in a panic one day about how he thought she was going to divorce him over it. And then one day he showed up with a picture of a tartan tie, and how thrilled he was that his wife was going to LET HIM WEAR A TARTAN TIE.

We were all very nice. Very polite. But the whole time I was biting my tongue, because that guy didn't need a kilt.

........................What he needed was a backbone and to grow a set, pardon the term.

Respect your wife. Try to understand her views. Listen to her. After all, you love her and you married her. But do not give away your basic independence and manhood over every single issue to keep her happy. It won't work....not for her, not for you...and if that truly IS the only way to keep her happy, then mate....

.......it's time to find another place to live, because she doesn't love you.

Been there... and then, done that. And am now with a woman who actually does love me. And it's awesome.

[Teufel Hunden]

Once upon a time, years and years ago, there was a guy here who wanted to wear a kilt.

He bought a sportkilt. He posted one picture of himself....sportkilt hanging off of him, no socks, dirty worn out running shoes, a baggy hoodie sweatshirt over it all...and the killer, this hangdog expression as if he'd been caught stealing cookies.

He looked like ruddy hell warmed over. It was obvious that she'd not let him buy anything but that sportkilt, and we all know that there are limits to how "just a kilt" can look if you are clueless about how to wear it with anything else, and have none of the usual "kit". Still and all the KILLER thing about that picture was how utterly hammered he looked. He looked ashamed of himself with that kilt on.

He posted several times about how his wife was so adamant about him not wearing a kilt. He posted in a panic one day about how he thought she was going to divorce him over it. And then one day he showed up with a picture of a tartan tie, and how thrilled he was that his wife was going to LET HIM WEAR A TARTAN TIE.

We were all very nice. Very polite. But the whole time I was biting my tongue, because that guy didn't need a kilt.

........................What he needed was a backbone and to grow a set, pardon the term.

Respect your wife. Try to understand her views. Listen to her. After all, you love her and you married her. But do not give away your basic independence and manhood over every single issue to keep her happy. It won't work....not for her, not for you...and if that truly IS the only way to keep her happy, then mate....

.......it's time to find another place to live, because she doesn't love you.

This spurred my curiosity, and I did some searching. I won't ask for verification, but I'm pretty sure I found what you were talking about and good lord I could not imagine being bound to someone so lacking in respect for me, and, well, just dealing with it. I read a lot more about guys who fought an up hill battle to get wife approval and eventually reached a compromise.. I think that's awesome. I wore my first kilt when I was 14, just on a cold, randomly picked day at high school. Even made it in the year book. I've had so many kilted friends, or friends otherwise interested in celtic heritage/culture, the very idea of someone hating the kilt is almost foreign to me... it's made for some interesting reading tonight.

I suppose I've always had that touch of cockiness to me. Then it grew in to a few handfuls when I became a Marine... but I've never been one to settle for someone. I've always just laid it out on the table (HA, no pun intended), and in a round about way said, "this is who I am and what I'm about... you coming or what?" If they didn't like it, well, it was their loss, as I saw it.

But, I have been pretty fortunate, all the girls I've dated over the years just so happened to really like me in a kilt, so I've never been faced with the situation where a woman hated one. I can say, as open as I am about my heritage and fondness for highland wear, the issue would come up WAAAAAAY before marriage ever did. Hell, if I were single now, them simply looking at my facebook page would reveal more than one kilted pic.

Like I said in my first post though, my bonnie lass can't get enough of it. As fortunate as I've been with positive encounters, I'm VERY fortunate to have met her and have her support in literally everything.

[Dale Seago]

Teufel Hunden, if this were Facebook I'd "like" that post.

Semper Fi!

[swampfox]

I suppose I've always had that touch of cockiness to me. Then it grew in to a few handfuls when I became a Marine... but I've never been one to settle for someone. I've always just laid it out on the table (HA, no pun intended), and in a round about way said, "this is who I am and what I'm about... you coming or what?" If they didn't like it, well, it was their loss, as I saw it.

SEMPER FI DEVIL DOG!

lol i was navy myself but i hung with a lot of marines, after i got out and was single i pretty much had the same attitude took me almost two years to find my wife.
as far as her being respectfull i think she is very due to the fact that she lets me wear it pretty much whenever and i give her back the respect when she ask's me not to wear it the thing ive learned is that marriage is definatly a two way street lol.
she did make a funny comment the other day she said "just remember that you are going to have to explain why daddy wears a skirt and earrings, and mommy doesn't" HA HA HA she actually has a point lol.

[dutchy kilted]

My wife was the same way for quite some time. It was usually a roll of her eyes and/or a "you're going to wear a kilt?" when we headed out

Last year on vacation in Fredericksburg, I was walking with my wife and son when an extremely attractive woman of a certain age made eye contact with me from 1/2 a block away and kept it until she passed us. She then called back over her shoulder, "nice pleats!" (kudos to Rocky, since I was wearing a USA Kilt.)

My wife finally admitted that she was worried that OTHER women would think the kilt looked silly, but she personally didn't have a problem with it. Once she relaixed that other women loved the kilt she warmed up to me wearing it and now encourages me to wear it often.

So, just give your wife time to warm up to it!

[Nighthawk]

Ya know, it's an interesting thing I've noticed... The one and only woman who gives me a hard time about wearing a "skirt" is my sister in law. She's firmly convinced that it simply means that the man wearing it is a wannabe cross dresser. She always hurls these insults when she's wearing a pair of jeans... I never could figure out how that works... It's OK for her to wear what is normally considered to be a mans garment, but let me wear something similar to a skirt, and it's a problem. I don't get the double standard. I once told her that when she stops wearing pants around me, I'll stop wearing kilts around her. She didn't like that- told me that I had no right to tell her what to wear. I don't get the double standard- and the people with that double standard- they don't seem to even know it's there!

[Bugbear]

I don't get the double standard- and the people with that double standard- they don't seem to even know it's there!

You got it right, "they don't even know it's there."

Sometimes, or even many times, people are not going to suspend their own perspectives and consider another prospective. And I am not talking about giving up one's beliefs and adopting someone else's, just setting them aside and trying to figure out what is going on in someone else's point of view rather than becoming automatically dismissive.

[auld argonian]

The double standard thing is diabolical. One of the hardest parts of it is, for me, understanding that if I want to go around in a kilt, I have to be extra-tolerant of the eccentric dress of others.

Living here in Chicago it's daily fare to see a lot of diverse ethnic dress. You get the transplanted Middle-Eastern folks, Indian folks and African folks. You also get the "second tier" people who are, like me, the descendants of an ethnicity who take to wearing pieces of traditional garb (or what we think is traditional garb...but that's a whole other discussion) as a way of distinguishing ourselves and honoring our heritage.

You also get the hip-hop-sters and the hip-sters and all of the other -sters who deviate from the norm of everyday dress. Even get the odd wise-*** college student who, though a really conservative kid, will wear some outrageous bit of clothing just to be different in his or her own cautious way.

Got to be the guy who sticks up for them all if you are a kiltie. When the cab driver gets comments from your friends because he's wearing a djeleba and a taqiyah you have to stick up for the guy.

I am often heard saying, "...okay, but you're talking to a guy who wears kilts...who am I to criticize?"

Personally, I really enjoy the whole thing.

Best

AA

[Alan H]

Ya know, it's an interesting thing I've noticed... The one and only woman who gives me a hard time about wearing a "skirt" is my sister in law. She's firmly convinced that it simply means that the man wearing it is a wannabe cross dresser. She always hurls these insults when she's wearing a pair of jeans... I never could figure out how that works... It's OK for her to wear what is normally considered to be a mans garment, but let me wear something similar to a skirt, and it's a problem. I don't get the double standard. I once told her that when she stops wearing pants around me, I'll stop wearing kilts around her. She didn't like that- told me that I had no right to tell her what to wear. I don't get the double standard- and the people with that double standard- they don't seem to even know it's there!

There comes a point, and it should take LONG TIME to get there....many months, many gentle remonstrances, many more firm comments and so on..... where you draw a line in the sand.

IF there comes a point where it becomes crystal clear that she doesn't care anything about what you think or feel, that she is going to shoot her mouth yet again for the pure pleasure of being a PITA, then I would do this.

I would drop whatever I was doing. I would walk directly over to her. I would ram my face about six inches from her own, and scare the bejeezus out of her. I would bellow, VERY loudly that she was a )(*!*&^% b*tch, she'd opened her )!*^&(&^% mouth one time too many and that she could keep her *&^%*%^$ ignorant opinion to herself. SHUT THE )(*&(*^&%*%^&$ UP.

Yes, I know it' not "gentlemanly". There will be those who will huff and puff and say that doing so brings down to her level. There will be those, oh so much more refined of course, who will say that it's SO much more gentlemanly to raise an eyebrow than to raise the roof.

I say, fine. Bully for you "gentlemen". If she were a man I'd bust his nose. He had it coming. She's not a man so I'll just lay it on the line, loud and clear, in terms so utterly unmistakeable that she can not possibly misunderstand. She had it coming. If there were consequences for being a nonstop PITA b*tch, then golly, maybe she would learn from them, and stop, you know?

And then, if she still persists in being rude, I would never step foot in her house again, I would never invite her over to my home, and if I were in a public place with her, I would leave without comment. If it was a family event, then too bad. They may all tolerate her, but that doesn't mean that you have to. If my wife did not want to leave, then I would toss her the car keys and take public transportation or walk.

I'm dead serious, here. If this woman is mentally and spiritually incapable of ceding you the tiniest bit of respect, the utterly and completely remove her from your life. If that means not going to family events, then so be it.

I walked out of my aunt/uncle in-laws house during an Easter dinner once, after my aunt-in-law made a disparaging comment about my mother. I didn't return for a year and a half, until I got an apology. They've never repeated anything of that kind, ever again.