A dilemma

[Riverkilt]

Simple answer - ask the bride. Some condiser it distraction to upstage them, others feel honored. Only she can give you the answer. All other surveys are meaningless.

[English Bloke]

I went to the wedding of of a very good friend of mine in Liverpool last year. I had my Kilt and accoutrements all sorted out in my mind and was raring to go but at the last minute I selected my very best suit and wore that instead.

On arrival at the wedding, all eyes were on my mate Karen and no-one so much as noticed the English Bloke in the jacket and trousers (She did look especially radiant mind). I was chatting to her later at the reception and she said she thought I was coming Kilted. I told I didn't want to detract from her day. Made me smile when she said she would have loved it and it would have added to the wedding.

I was flattered that she thought so and that she was kind enough to say it but for my own peace of mind I was happier in the clothes I'd chosen to wear. I didn't tell her this but I was certainly more comfortable that way at a non-Scottish doo.

I'd go with the suit mate. Kilts are great but they are not always the most appropriate clothing and unless you're an absolute die-hard, not the only option in a man's wardrobe. There will be plenty of other days for the Kilt.

[Duke of Delrio]

Riverkilt nailed it. The day belongs to the wedding couple, not to the wedding guests. No opinion or concensus matters but theirs. When I have had to deal with this question, I have always made sure the answer came from the bride.

In this part of the world, the idea of, "Oh, you should wear one of your kilts!", usually comes from someone in either the bride's or groom's family, and is usually followed with "She, he/they would really love it." Sometimes that may be true; and sometimes it is just flat-out mistaken.

A wedding guest is just that . . . a guest, and anything a guest would intentionally wear or do that is off-putting to the wedding couple is not just inappropriate, it is inexcusable.

Do youself a favor, and ask the bride. You will be glad you did, and so will she.

[Chas]

I have been to many weddings (my mother was one of 13 children who all produced many children), in all sorts of venues. From cathedrals to humble parish churches to castles to once in a field. From very formal to so laid back, I didn't think that there had been a marriage.

In all those times, in all those places, with all those different people, there was never once when the bride was upstaged.

I don't think that it is possible, not unless a guest dressed as Ronald MacDonald.

Regards

Chas

[gary meakin]

Simple answer - ask the bride. <clip> All other surveys are meaningless.

Ditto

[CMcG]

Ask the bride and groom. If it is a very traditional family, maybe ask the parents instead...

As for kilts at non-Scottish weddings, I've done it.

A friend who is East Indian by way of Trinidad had a big Hindu wedding and, when I asked about the kilt, she told me that traditional clothing was very appropriate. I wore the kilt and was the only one, but many people were wearing Indian attire. There were a couple nice conversations with folks about the importance of honouring traditions.

Last night, I went to the wedding of longtime classmate from kung fu. He and his bride are Chinese but they are also devout Christians, so the wedding was more Western. Knowing him and his family, I judged that a suit would be more appropriate and didn't bother asking about the kilt. There were hardly even any people wearing traditional Chinese clothes.

[LitTrog]

Yeah, just check with the bride. And if her answer is noncommittal, I would caution against wearing the kilt. An enthusiastic yes is what you're looking for, unless you're looking for trouble. Let the caterer or cake maker or DJ or florist or officiant or mother in-law or groom be the one to push her over the edge on her special and horribly stressful day.

[Woodsman]

I too agree that you should ask the bride and by that too she will be forewarned and not surprised on her wedding day.

With that being said, at my wedding, many moons ago, one of our guests was a Marine and wore his full dress uniform to the wedding. He certainly had a choice in this too. But as it turned out, he was a great hit that only added to our wedding and did't subtract from the bride, my wife, at all. We actually looked at it as an honor to have him in attendance dressed as he was. I think it really impressed all the guests. In later years he married my wife's cousin and they are still happily married and now with two children.

[Dale Seago]

Chiming in with others saying definitely, DEFINITELY check with the wedding couple.

I went kilted to a wedding a few weeks go, having done exactly that. The couple are both martial art students of mine and have seen me kilted a gazillion times over the last few years, but I still made a point of checking.

I also made a point of not being ostentatious in my attire, though. The event was on the bride's parents' ranch in California on a very warm day and expected attire was casual, with most the the male guests wearing open-neck shirts and slacks. I wore what I felt would be a kilted analogue to that, and it went over just fine:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?p...&id=1199617140

[Nighthawk]

OK, you asked for experiences. I recently attended a wedding- last weekend, as a matter of fact- where I was the only one kilted. I wore an understated tartan (Albanach from USA Kilts in particular), a black waistcoat, red tie, white shirt, navy blue hose, and nice shoes. I was the only one kilted. I got a bit of positive feedback, and one person asked me why I wore it, to which I responded truthfully that all of my 2 pairs of pants are ratty cargo jeans, and I didn't feel those as appropriate. It was obviously a satisfactory answer as the inquirer said that I looked great and made a good choice. Other than two or three offhand "You look fantastic!" kinds of comments, it was a total non-event/non-issue. The mother of the groom, whom I had never met before, loved it. Otherwise no one seemed at all interested. It was the couple's special night, and it remained that way regardless of what I was wearing. When you're surrounded by 150 people who are all at a place for one sole purpose, you tend to blend and become white noise regardless of what you're wearing. There was one fellow who showed up wearing jeans, cowboy boots and one of those tacky tuxedo print t shirts. He was asked to leave. So it seems to me that as long as you're not doing anything inappropriate or offensive, no one gets concerned.

Look at my friend Barbara here;



See how happy and pretty she is on her wedding day? How in the hell is the bald fat boy in the kilt going to "upstage" her?

Cutting right to the heart of the matter...