Best quips/retorts to Kilt questions...

[Iain Robb]

The first time one particular male friend saw me in a kilt, he asked me -- very loudly in front of a lot of other friends -- "What's under the kilt?"

Just as loudly back, I told him, "Real men either know, or don't want to know."

Didn't get that question again that day.

[EBlackall]

Had one very lovely young lady at a wings bar asks one day and I replied, without skipping a beat, "You got the guts to come over here and check?" She blushed and ducked in the back and avoided me for the rest of the time I was there. All the guys with me had a good laugh. They never thought I'd respond that way, but I instinctively knew the what her response would be. She wasn't drunk enough!

[Makeitstop]

Some of these are real keepers ("I need to take a leak." Brilliant!)

"Why are you wearing a Kilt?"
Because they don't make three legged pants.
Because the cops tend to frown on public nudity.
Freedom!
Because I got tired of dressing like a woman.
It's to protest [insert controversial issue here]. (For extra credit, turn it into a big speech that gets louder and louder and embarrasses those around you)

[Nick the DSM]

Some of these are real keepers ("I need to take a leak." Brilliant!)

"Why are you wearing a Kilt?"
Because they don't make three legged pants.
Because the cops tend to frown on public nudity.
Freedom!
Because I got tired of dressing like a woman.
It's to protest [insert controversial issue here]. (For extra credit, turn it into a big speech that gets louder and louder and embarrasses those around you)

LMAO!!

[Clockwork John]

Stranger: "What do you wear under your kilt?"

Me (looks down at feet): "Socks and shoes, obviously."
or
Me: "Only my wife knows."
or
Me: "A lady never asks, and a gentleman never tells."
I once had a coworker respond to this one with, "who said I'm a lady?"
the only response I could manage was a bright red face...

[Galb]

Me: "A lady never asks, and a gentleman never tells."
I once had a coworker respond to this one with, "who said I'm a lady?"
the only response I could manage was a bright red face...

You should've replied with "well in that case, give me your hand lassie."

[Clockwork John]

I wasn't actually kilted at the time... I was in pants, and somehow the subject of kilt wearing came up.

[Jack Daw]

I'm thinking the best retort is whatever a Glaswegian would say...very fast.

[sharpdressedscot]

Heck yeah!!

I should write some of these down.

[Nighthawk]

Heck yeah!!

I should write some of these down.

Last night I went to Wal Mart to buy a book for my kids. Some guy pulled the whole "nice skirt" thing. I politely told him it was a kilt. He said it's still a skirt, and that I look like a "fag." I pointed to the books and said "You see these things? They're called books. Next time you think you should open your mouth, open one of these, instead. That way the next time you open your mouth, you might not sound so stupid." And I walked away.