A little ticked....

[Bugbear]

... Sometimes we need to learn to set boundaries. Sometimes we need to move to the other side of the world to get away from psychotic family members and then go into years of therapy to repair the damage they have done.

Ya, what the voice of Gilmore in my head just said. Other than that, it's none of my business.

[Nighthawk]

So many times when some one posts here about family members not wanting a man to wear a kilt, it seems so obvious that there are other issues at play and the kilt is only a manifestation of them, and a somewhat superficial one at that.

I really don't know enough about these other issues to give advice, and don't know that I would presume to if I did. But I will say that perhaps objections by family members to a man's wearing a kilt sometimes show that it's time to take a look at family dynamics, and how we respond to them. Sometimes we need to discuss what is really going on, rather than acting out our issues. Sometimes we need to learn to set boundaries. Sometimes we need to move to the other side of the world to get away from psychotic family members and then go into years of therapy to repair the damage they have done.

Actually... I find it more fun to find new and better ways to mess with psychotic family members- like my Bible thumper of a sister in law, who once told me that God was punishing me by making my car break down. It's so easy to get her all riled up- and she has no clue that we (meaning my dad and I) are doing it. My brother sees it happening and just sorta looks the other way with a smirk, and my mom yells at us while Sis In Law is turning red and yelling.

[Derek Conley]

Actually... I find it more fun to find new and better ways to mess with psychotic family members- like my Bible thumper of a sister in law, who once told me that God was punishing me by making my car break down.

My grandmother (rest her soul), though one of the most important people ever in my life, used to tell me as a child (if it happened to rain on a day I was acting up) that it was all the angels in Heaven crying because I was such a bad little kid.

I, of course, thought it was cool that I could influence the Celestial beings in Heaven so easily.

Then my mom, to this day jokingly asks if I'm still listening to "that Satan music", in regards to Iron Maiden, etc. Used to be it really bothered her, but since I'm all grown up now and didn't turn out too bad (veteran Marine, cop now) I think she just accepts it.

Anyways, to the OP, I think it sucks that they'd give you an ultimatum but really... it's family... and they can (and should!) accept you for who you are and not who they'd like you to impersonate.

[Tetley]

Ultimately what is more important, a garment or family?

Cheers

Jamie

What is more important is neither the garment or the family, it is, however, Celtic Cowboy's pride.

Ultimately do you let someone without authority dictate what you should or should not do or do you stay true to your own sense of self?

Mark

[DWFII]

"Cowboy Pride will always get a man through but cowboy pride will make a fool of you..." Ian Tyson

[Woodsman]

Maybe you could wear tartan pants?? I would recommend that you go in pants but wear something to show your ancestral pride -a hat, a pin, a shirt, etc. Sometimes you need to swallow your pride for those family members engrained with ignorance and wallowing in prejudices. They are after all, family.

[McFarkus]

I'm afraid I would have the same reaction. If it were only the kilt, I might give in (my brother and I did for my niece's graduation - she says when we wear kilts, everything is all about us and this was her day). But on top of it your mother announces without discussing it with you that you were all going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving instead of a family home (which is your preference).

I would cook a meal at home and invite some friends over. Let the others "have a nice meal" (as you put it).

[TheKiltedCoder]

Something along the lines of, "Mom, you probably don't realize how much you hurt my feelings with the 'pants' comment, but I'll make a deal: I'll wear pants for Thanksgiving dinner, if you (and the rest of the family) will keep you mouths shut and not make any comments when I wear a kilt to Christmas. If you can't do that, it shows me that you don't value me as a person, and you only value me when I'm your puppet."

Lay it out plain and try to reach a compromise. If they're not willing to work with you after that, they're probably not the sort of family I'd be wanting to spend time with, anyway.

Brian

[DWFII]

I agree with Woodsman...the best idea is to wear trews. I've been thinking along those lines myself. When a kilt is not wanted (either by yourself or someone whose opinion has influence) trews would be perfect. You could still wear your Argyll jacket and still remember your Scots heritage.

[mbhandy]

Something along the lines of, "Mom, you probably don't realize how much you hurt my feelings with the 'pants' comment, but I'll make a deal: I'll wear pants for Thanksgiving dinner, if you (and the rest of the family) will keep you mouths shut and not make any comments when I wear a kilt to Christmas. If you can't do that, it shows me that you don't value me as a person, and you only value me when I'm your puppet."

Lay it out plain and try to reach a compromise. If they're not willing to work with you after that, they're probably not the sort of family I'd be wanting to spend time with, anyway.

Brian

Hear hear.

And you will wear pants if all the women will wear skirts or dresses, even the little ones.
Your first comment was a knee jerker but you really need to talk to your Mom.

MrBill