Kilted attire for attending a Wedding

**rollerboy_1979** · 4th March 09, 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by pastorsteve

Maybe it's just a phrasing issue but the groomsmen ARE the ushers. That's how weddings are generally done world-wide. It's not an exception for Chicago. Thus as an usher or Groomsman- you are the wedding party.

From Wikipedia (not always perfect but correct here) A groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. The term groomsman is more common in the United States, and usher is more common in the UK. Usually the bridegroom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man. The duties of the groomsmen are to help guests find their places before the ceremony and to participate in the wedding ceremony.

In Chicago, at Catholic wedding masses, we never called the groomsmen "ushers", but I think we're splitting hairs here. To clarify, I have not been asked to "stand up" with the groom in a tux, I'm simply being asked to escort famiy members to their pews in church, along with one other person.

**MacMillan of Rathdown** · 28th February 09, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by pastorsteve

As an usher you should actually be in a tux. You are a member of the wedding party, and if they are in tuxes you should be too. If they are not in tuxes the people paying for the wedding (usually the bride's family) will/should indicate what attire is appropriate for the wedding party.

Actually, it is the responsibility of the groom to see that his attendants are properly dressed, and to pay for any special attire that may be required. The groom is also supposed to be responsible for the cost of the church and the officiant celebrating the marriage, as well as paying for the license most cities/states require. He is not required to bear the cost of floral arrangements, or musical entertainment. These items, like the reception that follows, are down to the bride's family.

**kennethrmc** · 28th February 09, 11:56 AM

This is what I plan to wear to my daughter's wedding.

I am the officiant.

Wedding is 4 PM, and fairly formal.

I have to cinch up my tie a bit better, and I'll leave the sgian dubh at home as I'm in "clergy" mode.

Thoughts?

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**McMurdo** · 28th February 09, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by kennethrmc

This is what I plan to wear to my daughter's wedding.

I am the officiant.

Wedding is 4 PM, and fairly formal.

I have to cinch up my tie a bit better, and I'll leave the sgian dubh at home as I'm in "clergy" mode.

Thoughts?

Kenneth
I'd say if it is to be a Formal affair then I would say go for a White shirt and perhaps a Black Bow Tie. Other than that I think it's fine.

**pastorsteve** · 28th February 09, 12:34 PM

[QUOTE=kennethrmc;680180]This is what I plan to wear to my daughter's wedding.

I am the officiant.

Wedding is 4 PM, and fairly formal.

I have to cinch up my tie a bit better, and I'll leave the sgian dubh at home as I'm in "clergy" mode.

Thoughts?
QUOTE]

As a Pastor I wear my Sgain always. Some may have some personal or denominational prohibitions or aprehensions but there is not reason you can't wear it at church.

**MacMillan of Rathdown** · 28th February 09, 12:33 PM

I would tend to agree with McMurdo re: the shirt and tie. Also, if you are ordained clergy, might not some form of "dog collar" be appropriate?

**kennethrmc** · 28th February 09, 02:20 PM

Thanks everyone for the feedback--appreciated! My daughter actually likes the red tie, and since it's her wedding...but I do agree w/ McMurdo on White shirt. And Pastor Steve, thanks for the encouragement on the black knife. It does feel more complete.

**M. A. C. Newsome** · 4th March 09, 05:45 AM

One of my favorite photos of my wife and I was taken at her brother's wedding. She was in the bridal party, so her dress was more-or-less decided for her. I told my brother-in-law that I brought both pants and kilt to wear and would let the choice be his. Here is what I wore.

I also had a tweed jacket, but it was a rather warm day, so it spent most of the time on the back of a chair!

**Macman** · 4th March 09, 09:40 AM

I've done it both ways! At my first wedding, the ushers escorted people to their seats, and then came up to the front to be part of the wedding party. They were dressed the same as the groom and the best man. At my second wedding, my part of the wedding party came in with me, and there was a separate group of ushers who did the escorting, and then sat with the multitudes.

**siva011** · 5th March 09, 06:06 AM

In the weddings I've been to, including some in my family, the ushers and groomsmen were seperate. Here is how it went: the bride chose the women she was close with as her bridesmaids, and the men she was close with (who were not chosen as groomsmen) were the ushers. My cousin had 2 bridesmaids and a maid of honor. The groom picked his best freind as his best man, and his 2 brothers as his other groomsmen. The bride's 3 brothers were then the ushers, with the eldest brother being listed as "head usher". Most other weddings I've been to followed suit, except where there was a very large bridal party and then there were so many groomsmen to even out. Then they also served as ushers.