Ok, I broke down and ordered a pair of kilt hose from the Almost Unwearoutable sock company

Although a little pricey, the lady was very nice and they are actually making them custom to fit my tree trunk calves! I also got the double thick ones.

Oatmeal with cable tops. She said they would be ready to ship next week. I'll post a review when they get here. I'm pretty excited to get a pair that might actually fit!