There is this place called X-Marks for folks who wear the kilt
Though some are very weedy and others stoutly built
And though the kilt’s for fellas we have some gals as well
Who join us in their kilted skirts in which they do look swell.
We bid both sexes welcome from here and there and far
As long as you’re a kilty fan then right good folk ye are!

There are so many topics that come with our dear kilt
Like how to wear a sporran and how the kilt is built
And then there is “off topic”: it is the Mods’ nightmare
Where threads go on for ever or sometime lead nowhere.
There’s photos of all sorts of chaps resplendent to behold
Some posts tell of daft questions, like ”Ooo, don’t you get cold?”

Although so very few of us have met us face to face
We follow other’s fortunes in this very friendly place
It is a great big family with kilts our common theme
And lovely Lovat hose and Skian Dubhs that gleam.
Utilikilts, though modern, are also very good
As long as you are kilted then join the brotherhood.

If you’re unsure of something then put that thing to us
There’re very many experts who’ll respond without a fuss
And if you want opinion on a kilt or this or that
Or should you wear red trainers to match your tartan hat
Then folks are here to help you, though sometimes with a chuckle
They’ll take the Mick at what you’ve said, but nothing near the knuckle.

Now McMurdo is top poster, but he must look to rear
For jolly young Ted Crocker is catching up no fear
At ten plus posts a day our Ted’s wired to his PC
And will o’ertake McMurdo in twenty twenty three.
There’s other dedicated posters that I could mention too
So start another thread pal; who knows it could be you.

And so us kilted nobles we go into the world
And there some people laugh at us and sometimes insults hurl
But we have big cojones, we take it in our stride
“Get bent!” we tell they scunners, “we wear oor kilt with pride”
The lassies the are different, they love to see our plaids
And give to us much compliment unlike those jeans clad lads.

It is a wondrous place now upon the Internet
Where you can make some real good pals whose kilts you won’t forget.
If you have just one kilt now or scores like our Hamish
X-Marks is the finest web site that ever you could wish
So thank the Lord for kilts chaps: the best kit for a man
And wear it every day now, or as often as ye can.