Christmas Cake {Joke}

[JolyStNicholas]

Christmas Cake

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

INGREDIENTS

1 Cup of water
8 oz dried fruit
1 tblsp salt
Lemon juice
1 tsp baking powder
8 oz Sugar
1 Bottle of whisky

4 large eggs
1 lb of dried fruit
8 oz butter
8 oz of flour

METHOD
Sample the whisky to check for quality

Take a large bowl. Check whisky again. To be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink, repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 2 oz of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one tsp of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still OK, cry another tup.

Turn off the mixerer, break two bowls and add to the eggs and chuck in the fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the bloody beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two sups of calt or something, Who cares? Check the whisky.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table or spoon of sugar or something, Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turnerer. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whisky again and go to bed......... .......

Next day, take three aspirins go to Marks and Spencer and buy a frigging Christmas Cake!


Made ya smile!!!

[piperdbh]

I knew there was something wrong with my recipe!

I've read a similar joke about a man who was supposed to write down a recipe which was to be read over the radio, but his radio was picking up two stations at the same time, and the other program was an exercise show. I think part of the directions he wrote down was along the lines of "...do 20 push-ups in the batter and pour into a well-greased barbell..." among other stuff.

[Dardanelles]

What a great recipe, any more.
Cheers, Danny.

[george7]

Makes me laugh every time.

[Old Hippie]

Christmas Cake...Made ya smile!!!

Oh, OK...



I run this little group called "Friends of Fruitcake" which is basically a ministry. I send a fruitcake to everyone on the group every year around Christmas. I'm gonna be in the kitchen bakin' about 8 different kinds anyway, a few more don't make a difference.

I actually LIKE this recipe -- it's on the cover of my notebook stuffed with fruitcake recipes.

You knew there was a fruitcake-lovin' wierdo out here somewhere, right?

:ootd

[ghostlight]

You knew there was a fruitcake-lovin' wierdo out here somewhere, right?

I've had home baked fruit cakes that were quite good. I think it's the mass market pre-packaged stuff that's spoiling the whole concept for everyone and giving the cake a bad rap.

It's sort of like eating a twinkie and then claiming you don't like cake.

[Dan R Porter]

I tried this, had to stop at step two! Now I have a headache and have a day old mix sitting in a bowl...

[ghostlight]

That reminds me why I stopped cooking with whisky.

[thescot]

Dardanelles, unless that photo you use for your avatar is really old, you won't need this for a while. But . .

The best cure for a hangover is plenty of fluid, some light food, and a hair of the dog that bit ya. I recommend V-8 with a bit of tobasco, and a bloody mary makes a good hair. It's even better if you eat before drinking, and be sure not to get drunk!

Some of us hold our booze better than others and just don't get hung over! :twisted

As to the recipe: it's a very good one, and I heartily recommend it!

[Bigkahuna]

" There's a little bit of Fruitcake in everyone of Us". Jimmy Buffet.