I got the go-ahead for a kilt at my own wedding.

[OKSooner]

Hello, X-Marks,
The last few months have been exceptionally busy, but I have the girlfriend's engagement ring ordered, a lot of holiday plans made for the end of graduate school, went full-time at my job, and started the unofficial wedding planning with her.

She is okay with me being kilted, groomsmen, (and the groomslady), being kilted or wearing tartan, having bagpipes for at least part of the wedding, a ceilidh, and some other Scottish things.

I have to order a PC, fly plaid, and a dress sporran soon, (USA kilts of course), for the wedding, and the PC and sporran may be useful at an event this year.

I have a question for the Rabble. If you wore a kilt at your own wedding, or were a groomsman at a wedding where there were kilted groomsmen, did they have matching kilts or was there a range of tartans? I like the idea of people wearing their own clan's tartan if they have one, or choosing a universal tartan, but I wander if it will look as good as I hope or if it is truly garish.

Also another question, ever had bagpipes for just the groom? The girlfriend is unsure if she'd go with Highland Cathedral or a modern song not on the pipes.

[Father Bill]

This, I feel strongly about. A man's kilt is his nametag. You don't wear somebody else's - you wear your own.

Try telling a Scot that he has to buy / rent a kilt other than the one his clan wears. Hope you're wearing armour when you tell him.

[ctbuchanan]

I agree in one sense with Father Bill - if I were a groomsman you might get me to wear a universal tartan if you wanted them to match, but you would never get me to wear another clan or family tartan. I would sit that one out.

[RockyR]

This, I feel strongly about. A man's kilt is his nametag. You don't wear somebody else's - you wear your own.

Try telling a Scot that he has to buy / rent a kilt other than the one his clan wears. Hope you're wearing armour when you tell him.

While I agree with you that the kilt can be your "nametag" and that it doesn't look bad having several tartans on the groom's side (and that's how it's OFTEN done in Scotland), I would disagree with the second part of your statement.

I would venture to say 50% (which I think is a very conservative #) or more of kilted weddings in Scotland include several groomsmen who do not own a kilt and therefore MUST rent a kilt. Rental kilts aren't typically available in too many clan tartans, so most are forced to wear a "Universal Tartan" that has no link to their name other than being a kilt and them being Scottish.

Ultimately, I think this as true in Scotland as it is in North America... The Bride has the ultimate say in many things to do with the wedding. If she prefers all the men in the same tartan, most groomsmen will go along with that. If she wants them all in different tartans (or each in their own), then they'll likely be fine with that as well. If she has no firm opinion on the matter and you don't mind them being in mixed tartans, then by all means, go that route!

We in America (and I am guessing Canada as well) tend to be much more "matchy matchy" with our clothing choices. That's fine and there's nothing wrong with being matchy matchy (especially b/c your wedding is presumably taking place in the US where people have come to expect it), but just know that in Scotland, it isn't necessarily the case.

My $.02.

[Leprechaun 91]

This, I feel strongly about. A man's kilt is his nametag. You don't wear somebody else's - you wear your own...

In general I agree one should wear tartan to thich they have a connection or wear a "Universal" tartan. That being said, it is a problem here in the States, that most kilt rental shops have a
VERY limited offering of tartans for hire. It's easy to find a Stewart, Black Watch (Campbell), Wallace, ETC. but if your are from a "less common" clan you may find it difficult to rent your own.
Unless your grooms... people? are going to have kilts purchased you may have a hard time with them all finding their familial tartan. Also, they may have no Scottish connection at all so they
would need to choose a universal.

To your question about appearance I offer this. Your bride may find it easier and preferable to have her bridesmaids coordinate with the groom's party. As such, having the groomsmen and
woman wear the same tartan would facilitate coordinating the wedding's overall color palate. With this in mind, I think the groom in his Familial tartan and the groomsmen in matching universal
may work best. You have the blessing of your bride-to-be to incorporate the kilts. It is certainly best to involve her in the process of choosing the tartans. My own wedding was not a kilted
wedding as my bride was not fully on board at the time. (She has long since come to her senses.)

Congratulations on your forthcoming nuptuals AND graduation. I wish you a long and happy life full of joy and laughter.

David

[OKSooner]

It's easy to find a Stewart, Black Watch (Campbell), Wallace, ETC.

Luckily, her family has a Wallace link.

[cessna152towser]

I wore my own kilt in my Clan Cunningham family tartan when I got married.
After the wedding vows were exchanged and the marriage register signed we had a pinning of the tartan when I attached a Cunningham tartan shawl to my wife's wedding outfit to mark the fact that she had now joined the clan.
Our Best Man (Groomsman) is a piper and he played his pipes for us as we left the ceremony.

[sbevans]

I suppose the main starting points are what the bride wants, and if any of the groomsman already have highland attire. Just my thoughts.

[Liam]

I suppose the main starting points are what the bride wants, and if any of the groomsman already have highland attire. Just my thoughts.

Is a wedding not a commencement of a partnership? Many modern weddings do not have the bride's family pay the entire freight so the Groom should have a legitimate say in how he and his groomsmen are dressed. It is not always about what the bride or her mother wants!

[tpa]

Matchy-machy may occur at a clan gathering, but even then it's unlikely: a female of the clan bringing her partner who is not of the same or perhaps any clan; but if kilts are owned by the respective parties, no Scotsman is going to pay out good money to hire one!