Best quips/retorts to Kilt questions...

[UmAnOnion]

Greetings all,
this is inspired by the advice support thread started by Berry, in that he seemed to be a bit lost in how to deal with the comments directed to him by the less enlightened.

I figure the more seasoned kilt wearers might have a few good retorts - some gentle some not - that can be used to defuse an uncomfortable situation (or to put someone in thier place)

Best i have seen on here so far is: "Crushed nuts are for ice cream sundaes!" courtesy of Al Gingles/Al G Sporrano.
I tend to take a more direct : "ITS A KILT, G** D****T!" & "What part of KILT is confusing you?"
In resposne to "why is it called a kilt" : "Because thats what happened to the lasyt person who called it a skirt"
I have heard the question of "what are you wearing under your that?" answered in a variety of ways:

"Nothing is worn - everything is in perfect working order"
"Wouldnt you like to know"
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours"
"Your girlfriend's lipstick"
"My shoes"
"Do you always ask such personal questions?"
and my fav - "why dont you go under there & find out..."

Care to share any others that might help Berry (and other newbies) in sticky situations???