I think I'd handle it by telling them what I was wearing under my kilt, including brand, color, style, size, where I bought them, how much I paid, what the weather was like that day, how I was feeling, why I chose to buy them, how I like them, what my other choices were, what medical problems I have that they may have caused/helped, and on and on, endlessly. Eventually, when their eyes glaze over, I'll let them go on their way.