I got the go-ahead for a kilt at my own wedding.

[OKSooner]

Hello, X-Marks,
The last few months have been exceptionally busy, but I have the girlfriend's engagement ring ordered, a lot of holiday plans made for the end of graduate school, went full-time at my job, and started the unofficial wedding planning with her.

She is okay with me being kilted, groomsmen, (and the groomslady), being kilted or wearing tartan, having bagpipes for at least part of the wedding, a ceilidh, and some other Scottish things.

I have to order a PC, fly plaid, and a dress sporran soon, (USA kilts of course), for the wedding, and the PC and sporran may be useful at an event this year.

I have a question for the Rabble. If you wore a kilt at your own wedding, or were a groomsman at a wedding where there were kilted groomsmen, did they have matching kilts or was there a range of tartans? I like the idea of people wearing their own clan's tartan if they have one, or choosing a universal tartan, but I wander if it will look as good as I hope or if it is truly garish.

Also another question, ever had bagpipes for just the groom? The girlfriend is unsure if she'd go with Highland Cathedral or a modern song not on the pipes.

[Father Bill]

This, I feel strongly about. A man's kilt is his nametag. You don't wear somebody else's - you wear your own.

Try telling a Scot that he has to buy / rent a kilt other than the one his clan wears. Hope you're wearing armour when you tell him.

[ctbuchanan]

I agree in one sense with Father Bill - if I were a groomsman you might get me to wear a universal tartan if you wanted them to match, but you would never get me to wear another clan or family tartan. I would sit that one out.

[RockyR]

This, I feel strongly about. A man's kilt is his nametag. You don't wear somebody else's - you wear your own.

Try telling a Scot that he has to buy / rent a kilt other than the one his clan wears. Hope you're wearing armour when you tell him.

While I agree with you that the kilt can be your "nametag" and that it doesn't look bad having several tartans on the groom's side (and that's how it's OFTEN done in Scotland), I would disagree with the second part of your statement.

I would venture to say 50% (which I think is a very conservative #) or more of kilted weddings in Scotland include several groomsmen who do not own a kilt and therefore MUST rent a kilt. Rental kilts aren't typically available in too many clan tartans, so most are forced to wear a "Universal Tartan" that has no link to their name other than being a kilt and them being Scottish.

Ultimately, I think this as true in Scotland as it is in North America... The Bride has the ultimate say in many things to do with the wedding. If she prefers all the men in the same tartan, most groomsmen will go along with that. If she wants them all in different tartans (or each in their own), then they'll likely be fine with that as well. If she has no firm opinion on the matter and you don't mind them being in mixed tartans, then by all means, go that route!

We in America (and I am guessing Canada as well) tend to be much more "matchy matchy" with our clothing choices. That's fine and there's nothing wrong with being matchy matchy (especially b/c your wedding is presumably taking place in the US where people have come to expect it), but just know that in Scotland, it isn't necessarily the case.

My $.02.

[Leprechaun 91]

This, I feel strongly about. A man's kilt is his nametag. You don't wear somebody else's - you wear your own...

In general I agree one should wear tartan to thich they have a connection or wear a "Universal" tartan. That being said, it is a problem here in the States, that most kilt rental shops have a
VERY limited offering of tartans for hire. It's easy to find a Stewart, Black Watch (Campbell), Wallace, ETC. but if your are from a "less common" clan you may find it difficult to rent your own.
Unless your grooms... people? are going to have kilts purchased you may have a hard time with them all finding their familial tartan. Also, they may have no Scottish connection at all so they
would need to choose a universal.

To your question about appearance I offer this. Your bride may find it easier and preferable to have her bridesmaids coordinate with the groom's party. As such, having the groomsmen and
woman wear the same tartan would facilitate coordinating the wedding's overall color palate. With this in mind, I think the groom in his Familial tartan and the groomsmen in matching universal
may work best. You have the blessing of your bride-to-be to incorporate the kilts. It is certainly best to involve her in the process of choosing the tartans. My own wedding was not a kilted
wedding as my bride was not fully on board at the time. (She has long since come to her senses.)

Congratulations on your forthcoming nuptuals AND graduation. I wish you a long and happy life full of joy and laughter.

David

[OKSooner]

It's easy to find a Stewart, Black Watch (Campbell), Wallace, ETC.

Luckily, her family has a Wallace link.

[cessna152towser]

I wore my own kilt in my Clan Cunningham family tartan when I got married.
After the wedding vows were exchanged and the marriage register signed we had a pinning of the tartan when I attached a Cunningham tartan shawl to my wife's wedding outfit to mark the fact that she had now joined the clan.
Our Best Man (Groomsman) is a piper and he played his pipes for us as we left the ceremony.

[sbevans]

I suppose the main starting points are what the bride wants, and if any of the groomsman already have highland attire. Just my thoughts.

[OC Richard]

I have to order a PC, fly plaid, and a dress sporran soon, (USA kilts of course), for the wedding

You might want to look over the recent thread about fly plaids. They do add some colour for sure! But also they tend to tug on one side of the PC, pulling that side up. Thing is, a PC hangs better without one. What you might consider, if you're set on the fly plaid, is a jacket like the Montrose or Kenmore, which are secured around the waist with a dirk belt, and won't pull up like a Prince Charlie will.

If you wore a kilt at your own wedding, or were a groomsman at a wedding where there were kilted groomsmen, did they have matching kilts or was there a range of tartans? I like the idea of people wearing their own clan's tartan if they have one

I did wear a kilt at my own wedding, but the Best Man isn't a kilt guy and he wore a tux. I had no Groomsmen, but a large number of guests were kilted (in their own tartans of course).

I play pipes, and I used to pipe at dozens of weddings a year, and I've seen it both ways, with all the men in their own tartans, and all the men in matching hire outfits. I think either way looks fine. What might look odd is the middle ground: half the men in matching hire outfits, and half in their own tartans.

Now I have seen it where the Groom is wearing one tartan, the Best Man and Groomsmen all in another tartan. This is often where the Groom is a regular kiltwearer and has his own outfit, while the other men are hiring theirs. I have also seen the Groom and Best man in their own tartans (sometimes the same due to being related) and the Groomsmen in matching Hire outfits (matching each other, not the Groom and Best Man).

ever had bagpipes for just the groom?

When I was doing around 40 weddings a year I would oftentimes get a question like "when is the usual place to have bagpipes play at a wedding?" or "at what point of a wedding have you been asked to play?"

Since these people usually wanted a specific response (I found that saying "anything you want" didn't suffice) I would give them the following spiel:

"I've been hired to pipe

-preservice music outside the church only
-preservice music inside the church only
-for the seating of the mothers only
-for the Groomsmen only
-for the Best Man only
-for the Groom only
-for Clergy only
-for the Bridesmaids only
-for the Maid of Honour only
-for the Bride only
-for presenting flowers to Mary only
-for a candlelighting ceremony only
-for a particular piece of Service Music only (Offertory, Communion)
-for the Recessional only
-postservice music inside the church only
-postservice music outside the church only

and every possible combination of the above."

[terry m]

I feel a bit put out here and feel with all due respect I must make my feelings known, I am not contriving to play at being a Scot. I am, and always will be English. However I have a great love, admiration and respect for the Scottish people, their traditions, history and the beautiful country of Scotland. For that reason I decided to wear a kilt occasionally and also for love and pride of my wife who's maternal family are Scottish.
My kilt is not a play suit it is a proud statement of heritage.