X Marks the Scot - An on-line community of kilt wearers.
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21st January 06, 06:54 AM
#1
Best quips/retorts
My replies to the very few folk who have asked what's under the kilt are :- "I'd prefer to keep you guessing", or "granny pants", both of which have ended discussion of the subject.
Last edited by cessna152towser; 21st January 06 at 06:56 AM.
Reason: missed out a bit
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21st January 06, 07:15 AM
#2
When my wife is there...she likes to answer the question:
"I know...that's enough, don't you think?" 
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21st January 06, 07:22 AM
#3
I love the one I think Bear came up with "How warm are your hands?"
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21st January 06, 07:37 AM
#4
Best to just ignore such questions-as beneath one's dignity to deign a response.
James
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21st January 06, 08:45 AM
#5
Here is a sampling of actual quips I've recieved had over the past few years along with some answers that worked.
Quip - What's up with the skirt?
Retort - What's up with the bad haircut?
Quip - Where's your bagpipes?
Retort - Same place as yours. (To a man)
- Same place as your fathers' (to a woman)
Quip - So are you gay or what?
Retort - Sorry... You'll have to look elsewhere!
Quip - Nice skirt!
Retort - It should be for $500.
Quip - Are you scotch?
Retort - No but I drank some last night!
Quip - Are you a "true Scot"?
Retort - Is there any other kind?
Quip - Are you playing bagpipes today?
Retort - No, but I'm playing poker later!
Quip - Did you lose a bet?
Retort - I won... the loser has to wear jeans!
There's a few others I can't remember at the moment. I find that most quips are pretty stupid and mostly confined to the "skirt - bagpipe" group. Easily demolished.
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21st January 06, 10:14 AM
#6
 Quips
Where's your bagpipes ?
--Under my kilt.
Nice skirt.
--Do you know why they call it a kilt?
--Because that's what happened to the last person
--to call it a skirt.
Are you Scottish?
--All the best parts are...
(this usually leave the questioner puzzled whilst I make my escape...)
And my personal favorite:
Why are you wearing a kilt?
--I needed the room. 
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21st January 06, 11:18 AM
#7
Woman: What's are you wearing under there?
Me: Good girls ask, bad girls find out.
Man: Hey! What's under the skirt?
Me: An ******* detector - it's working!
Andrew.
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21st January 06, 07:14 PM
#8
 Originally Posted by millar
I love the one I think Bear came up with "How warm are your hands?"
now that one talks Balls! One of my favorites , when the woman is attractive is "I could tell you but, then I,d have to marry you!"
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21st January 06, 07:26 PM
#9
This one always confuses them-"Can you handle attaining Satori"?
Last edited by Southern Breeze; 21st January 06 at 07:36 PM.
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21st January 06, 07:37 PM
#10
My standard answers:
"what's under your kilt?"
"boots and socks"
"hey buddy, nice dress"
"yep, all the girls say that"
"nice skirt"
"thanks"
"are you wearing underwear?"
"are you?" (alternate answer if she's a good-lookin' lass: "of course ...not" )
CT - 
Last edited by CameronTaylor; 23rd January 06 at 09:08 AM.
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