what formal events do you attend, and...

[MacLowlife]

Alan,

I, too, am interested by the opinions and reactions here. I agree with you that there is nothing inherently better about being more dressed up, or inherently worse about being less dressed up. But, for many people, there is a direct correlation between the level of preparation and the level of dress. It just works out that way. What interests me, though, is that people DO like to get really dressed up. It lends an air of specialness to the event. I read elsewhere on XMarks that in Scotland, the wearing of the kilt is a way of adding a special quality to an event- by putting on a kilt, you are saying "this is a special time." I know for many people, wearing a kilt is saying "this is a time," meaning you wear it everywhere.

OK, fine, but if you don't wear a kilt all of the time, or if you don't wear your GOOD kilt all of the time, isn't it nice now and then to do that little thing, like buying flowers, or lighting candles, or wearing cufflinks, or ordering dessert, or wearing Black Tie?

I think that is why people wear white tie to debutante balls and "affairs of state". They are saying "THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME." They want their daughter or granddaughter or the head of some other country to know that they consider this a Very Big Deal to be dining with them.

[fshguy]

I don black tie several times per year. My wife and I both work in the nonprofit world so there is the occasional fundraiser. However, we create many of our own opportunities.

What interests me, though, is that people DO like to get really dressed up.

This is exactly why my wife and I enjoy quasi-quarterly formal dinners together, either out or hosted at our humble abode.

We are decidedly in the lower end of the middle class, so it isn't a socioeconomic trapping. We just like to step out of the rat race, enjoy a long conversation, some good food and experience life as it was prior to laptops, blackberries, PTA, cub scouts, etc. Doing so in a formal manner helps make it a bit more special for us. I enjoy showing her that I'm still concerned with my appearance and I'm willing to take the extra time for her. Plus walking out in our best with her on my arm makes me feel like a million bucks.

It may not be everyone's cuppa, but it works for us. And let me tell you, the effort does pay off...