Quote Originally Posted by Brian K View Post
Lyle,

I tend, in the main, to agree with you here. While there can be certain advantages to being able to negotiate the pitfalls of social convention and custom, there have been many I have known who are always impeccably turned out and who can always be certain of using the correct implement in the correct manner at table, but who I would not trust with my wallet or anything else of value or importance.

My two favorite definitions of a gentleman (and i suppose they would also define a lady):

"A gentleman is one who never offends anyone unintentionally."

"A gentleman treats others without regards to his interests."

To mix and paraphrase the two, I would suppose that a gentleman strives continually to make sure that all persons are comfortable in his presence whether or not those persons are able to help or hinder him in anything he desires to accomplish.

To assume that someone who is always and everywhere is properly dressed and who has a thorough knowledge of social conventions is a gentleman is a mistake as much as assuming that someone who is poorly dressed and possessed of lower class manners is not. The ultimate test of a gentleman (or a lady) is how he (or she) treats others.

Regards,

Brian
I've always thought this poem sums up what being a gentleman is quite nicely:

http://chss.montclair.edu/english/furr/int/lredgod.html

T.