Formal Ambiguity

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

Have long admired your superb knowledge of etiquette, so disagree on even one point with some trepidation, BUT.. I hold that is perfectly proper for a Scot to wear the kilted equivalent to any black tie event, be it held in Inverness, New Orleans or Timbuctoo. The kilt is my everyday attire, not some costume reserved for "theme nights". I dislike breaking the dress code through ignorance, so would be grateful for sources? I ask as an honest seeker of knowledge, not in order to challenge your undoubted expertise....

I'm not sure how "undoubted" my expertise may be but you have raised a very valid point, especially for those who are habitually attired in the kilt.

As it is the host, not the guest, who determines how people should be attired the indiscriminate wearing of Highland attire is best avoided. In Scotland it is understood that formal attire always includes Highland attire. Outside of Scotland, especially if one is not a native born Scot, out of courtesy to the host one is best advised to strictly adhere to the requested standards printed on the invitation.

I can think of three reasons for not wearing Highland attire:

1) if one's presence in Highland attire is apt to call attention away from the host or their honoured guest of the evening;

2) even though one may not regard Highland attire as a costume, others present at the event may see it as such;

3) a gentleman never accepts an invitation and then willfully disregards the social terms under which the invitation is extended.

If the invitation says RSVP, one RSVPs. Likewise, if it says 8 o'clock for 8:30, one does not arrive at 8:45. And if it says "Black tie, Highland attire" that's what one wears; black tie with or without being kilted. If "Highland attire" isn't an option, then-- out of courtesy to the host-- one dresses as requested and wears ordinary black tie.