Tartan Etiquette

[Jock Scot]

I think that you chaps "over there" need to remember the we "over here" have roots too, and those roots are often not pure Scots. So what you chaps seek is nothing new. We "over here" just don't seem to make a song and dance over it.

Now to try to add a wee touch of light hearted-ness to my "dreaded two hour tartan justification lecture" comment, let me recount what happened to me a few days ago.

There I was taking a wee stroll, kilted, on a deserted single track road and a car passes carefully and disappears round the corner. On I go and lo and behold there the car is parked with its occupants taking in the view------I have to admit it is pretty damn good------ as I approach we bid each other good day and the conversation starts with a middle aged American couple from New York festooned with tartan. "Are you Scottish?" they ask. "Oh lord" think I, "ambushed!" "Yes." I reply. "You don't sound Scottish" came a good natured reply. They were right, I don't! And on the very pleasent conversation went.

Some two hours later we parted company and what were we discussing? Tartan! Long lost but some dimly remembered family Scottish history gathered together from relations spread all over America and Canada and so on. These were charming people who obviousely wanted to find their roots and good luck to them! This type of conversation is just the latest of this kind that I have had many times over the years. Harmless, sometimes interesting conversations with nice people and oh so time consuming, but I have usually never begrudged the time.

BUT------- and this is the bit that I fail to grasp. I have Norman roots, but I dont ride off the ferry at Caen on a bycycle, wearing a berret, wasp shirt with a string of onions around my neck. I have Australian roots, but I dont get off the plane at Sydney wearing a slouch hat with a boomerang tucked into my belt. I have, Dutch ancestors, but I don't wear cloggs to Holland. I have German connections, but do I wear leather shorts around Berlin? No. I have English genes, but I don't cross the border at Carlisle wearing a bowler hat. So why is it that visitors to Scotland wear tartan hats, tartan scarves, tartan ties, tartan trousers, tartan underwear(?), tartan socks, tartan shirts, tartan coats, and carry tartan bags and tartan umbrellas? Not neccessarily all at the same time I might add! Alright, I exaggerate a tad, but I do wonder sometimes what our visitors think they are coming too----a theme park?--------and I do wonder what memories they take away with them? Are they satisfied? Disappointed? Are their ancestral needs satisfied? Paricularly when most do not appear to even know which part of Scotland they hail from? I do wonder sometimes and thus far, I am still rather mystified by it all.