I've gotten the "skirt" comment in a bar a couple of times to which I responded "living proof that as the blood alcohol content goes up, the IQ goes down".

As to the weapons comments comments (concealed ot otherwise), a very wise man (my Army platoon sergeant) once said "your most dangerous weapon is the one you have between your ears if you know how to use it".

Never argue with an idiot or a fool, someone may not be able to tell the difference.